A new breed of Eva
by Ryoshima
Summary: Revised, trying to get this right. R&R plz!
1. Enter Ryoshima Kensuo, 6th child

I do NOT own Evangelion or any of the characters or any other stuff that I out in this fic.  
  
HOWEVER, I DO own the character 'Ryoshima' I created him in the summer of 2001 while I was very bored. I didn't copyright him or anything but he is my character. When Ryoshima does make an appearance, it is not me, the author. I MAY make appearances in this fic but under the name author.  
  
By the way this is my first fic ever. Not just an NGE fic, my first fic. So please don't give me a hard time, plz. BTW I haven't seen the whole Eva series but have read a whole lot of fics about it, so I'm hoping that I have an understanding of this. Also this will not follow true to the Eva storyline; it will have some of the things, but not closely follow it.  
  
WARNING: There will be serious action parts, and then it could switch over to complete nonsense and stay that way, or vice versa. You have been warned. I'll shut up now and let you read. ^_^  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Area 51  
  
A dark room. (Creepy)  
  
Scientist: Do you think this unit will be as effective as an Evangelion?  
  
General: I am positive that it will, it has the fire power and maneuverability of an Eva.  
  
Scientist: If an Eva could fly, that is.  
  
General: The President has informed me that SEELE is building 9 Mass Production Evangelions, they have the ability to fly.  
  
Scientist: (shocked) Why weren't we informed of this?  
  
General: Up to this point that information was classified. That is where you got your data on how to build this thing, form the flight capabilities of the SEELE Evas. I still have no idea why the President suddenly gave clearance for this information to the personnel on this project.  
  
Scientist: Hmmm, odd. Anyway our pilot is ready for take-off to Tokyo-3.  
  
General: Perfect, do you think that our pilot will be a valuable ally to fighting the angels?  
  
Scientist: He should, he has synch scores good enough and the flight skills.  
  
General: Please file this bio on the 6th.  
  
Scientist: Yes sir.  
  
In a hangar on the airfield.  
  
In the hangar sits a huge aircraft, colored black and red, on the side of it is the name 'F-  
  
305E', around this aircraft are numerous Nerv personnel and an unknown boy in a plug  
  
suit that is also colored black and red.  
  
Pilot: So, no weapons equipped for the trip?  
  
Tech: No sir, there will be no need until you get to Tokyo-3.  
  
Pilot: (disappointed) Alright 'I was hoping to fly over my old school one the way there, hehehehe' *Gets into fighter*  
  
Tech2: (Over Mic) Unit F-305 prepare to taxi to runway.  
  
*Pilot enters entry plug*  
  
Control tower: Perform checks. Flaps  
  
Pilot: check  
  
Control tower: Power source  
  
Pilot: S2 engine running fine, err. check  
  
Control tower: Cameras  
  
Pilot: check.. Phasers?  
  
Control tower: sorry sir, not this time.  
  
Scientist: Ryoshima, stay focused!  
  
Ryoshima: Yes, father.  
  
Ryoshima's dad: Fill the plug with LCL!  
  
Tech: Yes sir!  
  
While the entry plug fills with LCL, 500 miles away and closing, 9 shadows appear in the night sky.  
  
Ryoshima: Request permission to taxi to runway control.  
  
Control tower: Permission granted  
  
*starts to approach runway*  
  
Radar guy: Sir, 9 objects on radar coming this way and fast.. reports of watch outposts being destroyed.  
  
General: Get that Eva up in the air and on the double!  
  
Control: Yes Sir!  
  
Ryo's dad: Ryoshima, as soon as you get to the runway take off, don't wait for clearance  
  
Ryoshima: Dad! Dad! What's going on?!  
  
Ryo's dad: Just do it!  
  
Ryoshima: Yes sir.  
  
The 305 gets to the runway and takes off, Ryoshima is far away enough to look back and see Area 51 go up in a huge explosion, there is nothing left.  
  
Ryoshima: father.  
  
Meanwhile in Tokyo-3.  
  
The sky is blue with white clouds there and here, birds are singing, children are playing, a red head is going all out ballistic on a brown haired boy.  
  
Asuka: Baka-Shinji!!! Why isn't my breakfeast ready?!?  
  
Shinji: umm..uhh..b-because you locked me in the closet after you accidentally walked in on me in the shower.  
  
Asuka: Well, I wouldn't have lock you into the closet if you had just locked the stupid door!!!  
  
Shinji: Gomen  
  
Asuka: Stop saying your sorry!!  
  
Shinji: Gomen  
  
Asuka: ARGHH!! Great we are late for school! Thanks a lot!  
  
Before Shinji could say sorry again Asuka grabbed his wrist and ran out of their apartment. All Misato could say just before she passed out from all the beer was, "Have a nice da-*wap*.  
  
As Asuka was running on the way to school at break neck speed it was very odd to see  
  
what was following her, cars, buses, people, signs, etc. (If you have seen the Matrix:  
  
Reloaded when Neo is flying really fast and he has all that crud following him because  
  
he is going so fast) They finally reach school and Asuka suddenly stops sending all the  
  
debris flying towards a truck with the NERV logo on it. Coincidentally, Gendo Ikari  
  
was driving to work that day in his nice black truck with a big NERV logo painted on the  
  
hood and sides of it. When rounded the corner he saw this huge wall of stuff flying  
  
towards him, all he could say was, "Oh my G-" before his new truck got smashed to tiny  
  
bits, but for some reason Gendo survived. (A/N I need him for other comedy induced scenes)  
  
Shinji: (disappointed) So close, that just ruins my morning.  
  
In School.  
  
Teacher: Today I will be giving a lecture about Second Impact  
  
Class: *groans*  
  
Random kid: And this would be different from any day because??  
  
Teacher: I will be wearing a salmon suit  
  
Class: O_O  
  
Teacher: *Puts on salmon suit* Ok, lets begin. It all started in the year. blah blah blah.  
  
Meanwhile in a chat room. in the class.  
  
H4ck3r: Shin-man, I hacked into Nerv's files and found out that there is a new Eva arriving today! (A/N for those of you that don't know H4ck3r is 'Hacker' in leet or 1337 language. It's a language that online gamers like to use)  
  
Shin-01: No one ever tells us anything about arrivals, or at least no one tells me.  
  
H4ck3r: . anyway, what do you think about it Toji?  
  
Jock: I want to see it and meet its new pilot, I just hope he/she isn't like the demon.  
  
H4ck3r: Yea  
  
Shin-01: .  
  
Class Rep. has entered the room  
  
Class Rep.: Hi guys  
  
Shin-01: Hi  
  
H4ck3r: Hi  
  
Jock: Hi  
  
Class Rep.: What are you boys talking about?  
  
H4ck3r: A new Eva is arriving today  
  
Class Rep.: That's cool  
  
Jock: Yea, and so are you  
  
Jock: Did I just type that?  
  
Shin-01: Yep *snickers*  
  
H4ck3r: lol  
  
Red Fury has entered the room  
  
Jock: crap  
  
Red Fury: yes you are  
  
Shin-01: slammed  
  
H4ck3r: haha  
  
Jock: .  
  
Class Rep.: That wasn't very nice  
  
Shin-01: I'm gonna quit out, it's almost lunch time  
  
As Shinji quit he decided he had enough time to check his e-mail:  
  
Shin-01@Nerv.org inbox:  
  
Nerv Synch test  
  
Nerv Synch test  
  
Nerv Synch test  
  
Nerv Company picnic  
  
Asuka You're an idiot  
  
Teacher Homework  
  
Nerv Synch test  
  
Misato Urgent  
  
"Hello?" Shinji thought.  
  
He opened it,  
  
Shin-chan,  
  
Meet me out front of the school, there is a new Eva and Pilot arriving today, I will take you, Asuka, and Rei to the Airport to meet him.  
  
Love,  
  
Misato  
  
P.S. You don't need to tell Asuka and Rei, I already sent them messages as well.  
  
Shinji: Great, I was just thinking about risking my life in a car driven by a maniac  
  
After school came to fast for Asuka and Shinji with them knowing how Misato drove, Rei didn't know since she never rode with Misato.  
  
Shinji and Asuka together: I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die.  
  
Rei was emotionless as usual.  
  
That's it for this chapter. Stay tuned for the next one! Will the children survive the car trip, will Rei act the same after this car trip, will I stop asking questions and let you read another story? No, I will just let you review. Of course the children survive though, I couldn't have a story if they died could I? R&R PLZ!!!! 


	2. Introductions

The last we left our intrepid heroes was at school waiting for the car ride of their life.  
  
Shinji: Too bad Toji and Kensuke couldn't come.  
  
Asuka: Ha, who want those stooges along anyway?  
  
Shinji: *under his breath* me. . . Where can she be?  
  
Asuka: Probably off d- Asuka wasn't able to finish her sentence when Misato Parallel  
  
parked her car at 120 MPH. At this time Asuka and Shinji were both shaking as the got  
  
into the car, but Rei was still emotionless, except this time she was really thinking if she  
  
should walk to the airport. She jumped in the front seat anyway and they sped off.  
  
Misato was driving like a maniac, so she was having a normal day.  
  
Misato: So kids, how was your day?  
  
Asuka and Shinji: Fin-OH MY GOD, LOOK OUT!!!  
  
Rei: It was most satisfactory  
  
Misato: That's nice  
  
As they went down the street there was a huge traffic jam and Misato started  
  
whining. While Shinji and Asuka were thanking God they were going to slow down.  
  
Then Misato spotted a makeshift ramp on the sidewalk from construction work.  
  
Misato: Yeeehaaa!!!  
  
Children: AHHHHHHH!!!!! (Yes folks, even Rei is screaming)  
  
They cleared the 2 mile long traffic jam, and sped toward the airport. Asuka was  
  
clutching her chest, Shinji was unconscious, and Rei, well, she looked like crap.  
  
Misato: What's wrong Rei?  
  
Rei: @_@  
  
Misato: Hmm, okay!  
  
They finally end their ride of doom and arrive at the Tokyo-3 airport.  
(A/N I really don't know if there is a Tokyo-3 Airport in the series)  
  
The four stand there for what seems like hours, well, ok, one is still unconscious,  
  
one is saying how much of a spineless wimp the unconscious one is, one is wondering  
  
around muttering something about 'flying', and the last one is bored to death. Also there are NERV personnel around and stuff, doing Nerv things.  
  
Misato: Man, when is he going to get here?  
  
Asuka: When he gets here, that's when  
  
Shinji: *is suddenly conscious* *Where am I mommy? *wap* owww  
  
Asuka: Baka!! What does the 6th look like? Tell me!  
  
Misato: *Hands Asuka bio on 6th child* Here.  
  
Asuka's POV: 6th Child, lt. Kensuo, Ryoshima  
  
Hair color: Black  
Eye color: Green/brown (A/N my eye color by the way)  
Height: 168 cm  
Weight: 115 lbs.  
  
(A/N The other Info would be boring to read, let's move on)  
  
He doesn't look like a stooge, but appearances can be deceiving.  
  
Suddenly in the distance they hear a roaring of engines. They see an odd looking  
  
plane coming in to land.  
  
Asuka: What in the heck is that thing?  
  
Misato: You will see soon enough.  
  
As the 'plane' taxied up to them and stopped, they were able to read "USAF" and  
  
right under it was "F-305E".  
  
Shinji: Misato, what does the E stand for on this plane?  
  
Misato: First of all Shinji my boy this isn't a plane; second the 'E' stands for Evangelion.  
  
Apparently, Evangelion is the magic word, because as soon as she said it, the entry plug popped out and the hatch opened pouring LCL onto the ground. Out emerged  
  
the very mad, the very tired, and the very sad 6th Child, lt. Kensuo, Ryoshima.  
  
Ryoshima: Hi kids  
  
Shinji: H-hi  
  
Asuka: Whatever  
  
Rei: I want to fly, I want to fly, I want to fly in the car again  
  
Everyone: O_O;  
  
Ryoshima: Is she going to be ok?  
  
Misato: Uhh, yeah, sure, whatever  
  
Ryoshima: oookkayy  
  
Misato: (to herself) Commander Ikari isn't going to be happy with this.  
  
A moment of silence, except for Rei.  
  
Ryoshima: Well, I am going to go get some food because I am very hungry.  
  
Asuka: No really.  
  
Ryoshima: yes, really.  
  
This got Asuka mad, very mad. This is where poor Ryoshima gets his first slap on the face.  
  
At the eating place.  
  
Ryoshima: Man was I hungry!  
  
Shinji: Yeah, but did you have to eat the plastic fork?  
  
Ryoshima: I what?!  
  
Later that day at Nerv.  
  
Ritsuko: Well, you seem to be okay, except the fork in your stomach.  
  
Ryoshima: ok, can we not discuss that?  
  
Ritsuko: Fine  
  
One stomach pumping later.  
  
Ryoshima: Thanks Doc.  
  
Ritsuko: No problem, just don't get really hungry again.  
  
Ryoshima heads to the commander's office. This will go well.  
  
*knock* *knock*  
  
Ikari: Enter  
  
Ryoshima: *enters and salutes* sir!  
  
Ikari: There is no need for that, pilot Kensuo.  
  
Ryoshima: yes sir.  
  
Ikari: You will be assigned living quarters immediately  
  
Just after he finished his sentence Misato bursts in.  
  
Misato: He can stay at my place!! (This will come into play later, nothing perverted mind  
  
you)  
  
Ikari: Good, because I was going to assign him to some cardboard box in some alley.  
  
Ryoshima: O_O  
  
Misato: Now that is settled, let's go.  
  
Ryoshima: uhhh, ok. . . Wait one second, Commander?  
  
Ikari: yes?  
  
Ryoshima: Why do you wear those glasses and put your hands in front of your face in a menacing way?  
  
Ikari: It's for show and chicks dig the glasses  
  
Ryoshima: -_-;  
  
5 minutes later, 1 building destroyed, and 50 traffic laws broken they get to Misato's  
  
apartment.  
  
Ryoshima: So, Pilots Ikari and Sohryu live with you as well?  
  
Misato: Yes they certainly do!  
  
Ryoshima: (Crap not her again) Isn't it going to be a little packed?  
  
Misato: nonsense, there will be plenty of room.  
  
When Misato unlocked the door, Ryoshima said something that sounded oddly  
  
Like, "And so it begins."  
  
And so it does begin. That's the end of Chapter 2, whew that was fast, 2 in one night! I will eventually have all the pilots living in the same place; I have some ideas, mwwahhahahaha!!! I am going to move out of script format so Ch.3 will be written differently ( thx for the tip Brassmonki!). Stay tuned for Chapter 3!! 


	3. Home, School, Angels, oh my!

Ok, this chapter will go out of the previous format it was in and is now in a new one. The reason behind this is because it was getting on people's nerves, especially mine. So, here's the story! ^_^ "  
  
"Welcome home!" said Misato. "Finally! I'm starving, now we can eat!" Asuka said somewhere in the apartment. "You haven't eaten yet?" "Baka-Shinji wouldn't let us eat until you and pilot boy got home." "Hey, I do have a name" "Shut up!" "Yes M'am!" While Ryoshima and Asuka where fighting, Misato went to check on Shinji. She found him sitting in a chair with an ice pack on his head,"OWWWWWW." When they all got settled down for dinner, Ryoshima found out they were having, "Hot Dogs and French Fries?" "What's wrong? Is there some bad about the way it looks?" asked Shinji. "No, it's not that. I just wasn't expecting to have American food." "Well, I thought it would be a sort of welcoming present to you" said Shinji. "Wow, thanks man! No one has ever cooked me a present before. that didn't sound right but oh well," said Ryoshima. "Lets just eat already, geez," said Asuka. "Asuka, I think you need anger management classes," said Misato jokingly while on her 3rd beer. "*snicker* *snicker*" "What you YOU two laughing at?!" screamed Asuka. "EEP! Nothing! Nothing at all!," the two boys said really fast. "Hmph." "By the way, where am I going to sleep?" said Ryoshima with a mouthful of food. "You can bunk with Shinji, I'm sure he won't mind," said Misato. "It's no problem, it will be fun," said Shinji. "Heh, thanks man."  
  
As it neared 22:00 (10:00) there was one problem.  
  
"SCHOOL?!?! I have to go to school tomorrow? But tomorrow is Thursday, why can't I just start on Monday?" said Ryoshima. "Just because," said an annoyed Misato. "Crap"  
  
The next day.  
  
"First day of school huh?" said Shinji. "Here, yeah, but I hate school a lot and I never pay attention" "Well, you will do good then, because no one listens in our class, all sensei talks about is 2nd Impact and as soon as he starts everyone falls asleep or plays around with their computers." "We get computers there?!" said Ryoshima excited. "Yeah, I just usually talk to my friends or surf the web," said Shinji in a bored voice. "Heh, maybe he will become a stooge today," said Asuka with a playful tone to her voice. "Heh, maybe he will become a stooge today," said Ryoshima in a girlish voice. "I'm going to kill you!" *POW* Ryoshima got knocked up in the upper stratosphere.  
  
Shinji: O_O; (to himself) ok lets not make this girl really mad.  
  
"That'll take care of him," said Asuka, satisfied with herself. "ummm, yep, sure did," said Shinji, wide-eyed (duh).  
  
At school.  
  
"Today class, there is a new exchange student joining us from America. you may enter Mr. Kensuo.ahem, you may ENTER Mr. Kensuo. YOU MAY ENTER MR. KENSUO!!! *SLAM* Ryoshima just fell through the roof at Mach 1 speed and made a crater in the floor. "Hi, uhhh nice to meet everyone, my name is Kensuo, Ryoshima and I am not dead."  
  
Class: O_O  
  
"Anyway, about myself, I am an Eva pilot trained by the United States Airforce. I have experience in black ops. and was trained by the Navy Seals. I have to warn anyone that wants to beat me up because I can kill a person 59 different ways with a spork. Serveral boys got scared. The rest of the class was like, O_O. "Thank you Mr. Kensuo, take a seat by Mr. Ikari," said the old fossil. "Now lets begin today's lecture" "You're not going to wear the salmon suit again are you?" "No, I will be wearing a barney suit"  
  
Class: O_O; AHHHHH, NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
When the lecture began everyone slept or got on their computer, Ryoshima was setting his up to work correctly and stuff when he got invited to a chat room titled Join, "Oh well, nothing else to do." When he joined he was immediately asked.  
  
H4ck3r: What's your Eva like?  
  
RKEP: It's a plane, new design, really cool. Also, it's black and red.  
  
H4ck3r: Why wasn't I able to find out anything about it until yesterday when I was told about it?  
  
RKEP: That's probably because the documents weren't kept on PC, they were too important to be put on a computer and let someone out side of Nerv find out about it. I did see you try to hack into the Area 51 computer banks, Kensuke Aida. You may be good, but I'm better.  
  
H4ck3r: !!! How did u know my name?  
  
RKEP: After you tried to hack in, I follow your signal and got the address to your house and, well, the rest is history. Luckily no one else knew you tried to get in.  
  
H4ck3r: Thanks for not turning me in.  
  
RKEP: No problem.  
  
Shin-01 Joined the conversation Jock joined the conversation  
  
Shin-01: Hey guys  
  
RKEP: Hey  
  
H4ck3r: Hey  
  
Jock: Yo  
  
Shin-01: What's up  
  
RKEP: The sky, but nuthin much  
  
Jock: What's up with Rei? She hasn't acted normal since yesterday.  
  
*Riiinnnngggg*  
  
Shin-01: Crap, I'll tell you at lunch  
  
Shin-01, Jock, and H4ck3r signed off  
  
RKEP: Oh boy  
  
RKEP signed off  
  
At lunch.  
  
"Well you see, when we went to the airport, Misato was driving," said Shinji. "Ahhhh," said Toji and Kensuke. "Anyway, she drove faster than normal and we cleared a 2 mile traffic jam when Misato drove up this ramp at 150 MPH, then we almost hit a Nerv VTOL when we were in the air after it airlifted someone *hehehe* that was in a car wreck near our school. After that she hasn't been the same." "Well, she's coming this way," observed Kensuke. "Hi guys!" said Rei. There was a collective "hi". "Rei?" asked Shinji. "Yes?" "Why are you opening up to people more since yesterday?" "Well I thought I should explore life more now, because I almost lost mine during that ride," said Rei in a cheerful tone. "ohhhh," said the group. "See ya!" said Rei. There was a collective "bye" as she left. "My father isn't going to be happy with Rei now," thought Shinji.  
  
Coincidentally at that very moment, Gendo was talking with Fuyutsuki. "What has happened to Rei? She has been acting strangely since yesterday," stated Gendo. "Maybe she just has changed," said Fuyutsuki. "Even so, this will ruin my plans, activate another Rei and download he personality and memory into the brain." "Yes sir" This ladies and gentlemen is where Rei III is born, while there is still a Rei II. "Excellent," murmured Gendo, while Fuyutsuki was making faces at him behind his back.  
  
After School.  
  
"Man what a day," Said Ryoshima, "Does your teacher usually wear suits like that?" "No, he has never done that before, it's really confusing," said Shinji. "You forgot creepy!" yelled Asuka from the TV room. Just as soon as she finished her sentence the angel alarms went off. "crap," muttered Shinji.  
  
At NERV.  
  
They all get into their plug suits and each get to their Evangelions. "Ready?" asked Misato. "Hai," all four pilots said. "Alright, Evangelion launch!" The three humanoid Evas were launched up the elevator shoots, while the 305 was turned vertical ways and launched straight up. When they reached the surface there was the angel, it had no arms and was all like a blob thing. Asuka was grossed out and Shinji was on the verge of puking, and Rei was like, "Yuck!" Ryoshima was averting his eyes while trying not to crash." When the angel had enough waiting he decided to muck up Shinji's Eva. He took a deep breath and blew snot lokking stuff all over unit 01. Shinji didn't stand a chance, he flew was covered. Asuka started laughing at Shinji's misfortune when she got mucked too. "Yaaaaaaaahhh!!!" Screamed Asuka as she raced towards it with her prog knife drawn. She started slashing it everywhere, "Where the heck is the core?" The angel wasn't being hurt which is probably why it didn't raise it's AT field, but then it did and Asuka was flung away. Rei decided to get serious and started attacking the angel with her own prog knife, she almost got it down, but it used its AT field to fling her in the air also. "I'll try it," said shinji. "wait," said Ryoshima. "what" "I can probably get rid of that sludge with some new kind of napalm the US just developed. "Ok try it" "here goes nothing" Ryoshima leveled off and dropped to napalm, there was a fiery haze then as it cleared enough sludge was gone so that the core was visible. "Go Shinji now!" "Ok!" Shinji ran forward in his Eva and thrust his prog knife in the angel. 20 seconds later the pilots heard in their coms, "Target has become silent, good work"  
  
Back at NERV.  
  
"Good job Shinji," said Ryoshima and Rei. "lucky lucky lucky," was all Asuka said. "heh heh, thanks guys." "I have some bad news guys," said Misato. "What is it?" asked Shinji. "During the angel attack, our apartment got destroyed" "WHHHHAAAATTTT!?!?!?!"  
  
(A/N Cliffhanger, sorry for the shortage of this update, writer's block. I know there wasn't much action in this one but I have some action planned, just can't implement it yet, lol. I had to have Shinji, Rei, and Asuka fail at defeating the angel so that I could show everyone Unit 305's weapon. Just so everyone knows, I am not bashing and of the children, maybe Gendo and the SEELE guys will get made fun of (possibly the teacher too). Next chapter, where will our heroes live? What will they do? Also don't worry Pen-Pen fans, he's ok. ^_^ " Stay tuned for Ch. 4!!! Review please! 


	4. Ninjas!

Ok, after getting opinions from my test readers, I have decided to go back to script form, it was just annoying the heck out of me (CH.3 format). Script form is so much easier to write in and adds for nice. . . . . . stuff. Sooo. . . on with the fic!  
  
P.S. Read EVER AUTHOR NOTE in every chapter and yes this all takes place after Episode 26 assuming that Shinji still finds out that he isn't worthless and wants to live, but instrumentality has not happened yet.  
  
The last we left off was. . .  
  
Children: Whaaaat?  
  
Misato: Yes. (Irritated) Ryoshima dropped some napalm on it.  
  
Everyone stares menacingly at him. . .  
  
Ryoshima: Oops, heh heh, um, sorry?  
  
Well being Shinji he understands, and well, being Asuka, she doesn't.  
  
Asuka: (picks up lead pipe) Die!  
  
Ryoshima: Wahhh!!  
  
Suddenly Commander Ikari walks in. . .  
  
Ikari: Hi guys! . . . I mean, you will moved to a location closer to NERV Ms. Katsuragi. The address is 1800 Eva Lane. Rei, you will also live with them also.  
  
Rei: That sounds like fun  
  
Ikari: By the way, Rei, you are no longer needed to pilot Eva-00 because I have made a new Rei, her name is Rei III. So yeah. . . you aren't going to pilot anymore.  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Rei: Ok, now I can sort out my personal life. ^_^  
  
Ikari: (walks off to meet with SEELE)  
  
Misato: Well, let's go then.  
Another Dark Room. . .  
SEELE and Ikari appear  
  
SEELE 1: NERV is going bankrupt Ikari.  
  
Ikari: Duh  
  
SEELE 3: Don't insult us Ikari!  
  
Ikari: You guys are a bunch of fat and lazy pansies, and you over there need a serious nose job  
  
There is a faint whimper. . .  
  
Ikari: Ha Ha Ha, anyway fine. Maybe I'll go rob some banks or steal money from the government or something. Yeah, that's it. . . yeah.  
  
SEELE 1: Good, then this meeting is over.  
  
Ikari: Wait, did I ever tell you that you look like one of those cylons off of BattleStar Galactica (A/N Yep, you guessed it, don't own it neither)  
  
SEELE 1: No, I don't.  
  
Ikari: Yes, you do.  
  
SEELE: Don't  
  
Ikari: Do  
  
SEELE 1: Don't!  
  
Ikari: Do!  
  
Ikari lunges across the table and rips off his visor and he also rips  
off his face in the process.  
  
Ikari: See?  
  
SEELE 1: Ok, your right, give me my face back!  
  
Ikari: ok, goodbye then.  
  
The meeting ends. . .  
  
Ikari: Bunch of freaks, oh no! I'm late for my cooking class!  
Currently on 1800 EVA Lane. . . (Yea, I'm not creative on names)  
  
Asuka: It only figures that Misato gets the biggest room.  
  
Shinji: (Under his breath) duh  
  
Rei: This is a nice house.  
  
Pen Pen: Wark!  
  
Shinji: OMG, Pen Pen! Where have you been this whole time?  
  
Pen Pen: well you see, I decided to go to Disney Land in America, and I just got back.  
  
Everyone: What did you say?!  
  
Pen Pen: Wark?  
  
Misato: That's what I thought.  
  
Ryoshima: I'm going to my room now, computer here I come!  
  
Shinji: SDAT!  
  
Rei: Dolls! (A/N I know it doesn't fit)  
  
Asuka: Music!  
  
Misato: Beer!  
  
Pen Pen: Wark!  
  
They have fun, naturally. Their house has 5 bathrooms, 10 bedrooms, and a 3 room kitchen (Shinji was happy with this). It also has a small hot spring, billiard room, and pool. (A/N I have to make these miserable people happy don't I?)  
  
Misato: Gee, this is a nice house  
  
Shinji: I can't believe my own dad got us this house.  
  
Ryoshima: Hey Shinji!  
  
Shinji: Yeah?  
  
Ryoshima: Wanna watch the Matrix Trilogy with me?  
  
Shinji: Do I!  
  
Asuka: Hey, I want to watch too!  
  
Rei: me too!  
  
The night goes by with gunshots and karate move sound effects. . .  
  
Morning 0700 Hours  
  
Shinji: Breakfast!  
  
Asuka, Rei, Misato: Coming!  
  
Ryoshima: This looks good, very good.  
  
Shinji: Thank you  
  
Misato: YYYeeeaaahhh!!  
  
Shinji: First one already?  
  
Misato: Yep, finished in 1.3 seconds.  
  
Shinji: Wow, that's a record  
  
They all finished breakfast, and they do their. . . stuff. Use your  
imagination here people.  
  
Ritsuko: Finally! My greatest accomplishment has been completed.  
  
MAGI, EVA-00, 01, 02: Ahem  
  
Ritsuko: Oh, yah, one of my greatest.  
  
MAGI, EVA-00, 01, 02: That's better  
  
Ritsuko: I gotta tell Misato and the kids to come over and see this!  
  
Ring. . . Ring. . . Ring. . .  
  
Misato: Hello? Yeah, yeah I'm not busy right now, uh-huh, ok we'll be right over! Come on kids, Ritsuko wants to show us something at NERV.  
  
Children: Coming  
  
When they get to NERV . . .  
  
Misato: Well, what is it?  
  
Ritsuko: It's my, "Bring things from movies into real life machine." It does exactly what its called.  
  
Shinji: Can we try it out?  
  
Ritsuko: I'm afraid not, it still has to be tested  
  
Shinji: awwww  
  
Meanwhile in a friggin huge office. . .  
  
Ikari: Hey, cool, I finally found my ghostbusters DVD! I gotta find a TV!  
  
Back to the group. . .  
  
Ritsuko: Now, lets go have some lunch and leave my machine where anyone can use it and cause chaos with it.  
  
Rei: Sounds good to me!  
  
As they leave they don't notice Gendo walk in. . .  
  
Ikari: Cool! A huge TV screen! (Pops in DVD)  
  
As the ghostbusters songs starts up Gendo jumps up and starts singing  
along (A/N I don't know the words, but you guys have heard it). After  
the song was over Gendo turned the sound on the TV back on and started  
watching the movie. After it was over he left to stare at people and  
make them cry. Then a beam shot out of the TV into Tokyo-3 and there  
was a loud roar.  
  
Hyuga: It's an angel!! All pilots report to your Evas.  
  
All the children get dressed and sprint to their Evas. . .  
  
Misato: Is everyone ready for launch?  
  
Shinji: Yes  
  
Rei III: Yes  
  
Asuka: Let's kick it's butt  
  
Ryoshima: Yeah sure ya betcha (A/n I've always wanted to use that line ^_^)  
  
Misato: Evangelion move out!  
  
The Evas are sent rocketing to the surface. . .  
  
Asuka: Where is it?  
  
Shinji: Wait, I think I saw it.  
  
Ikari: (In control room) No!! It can't be! It's him!  
  
Ritsuko and Misato: It's who!?  
  
Ikari: My worst nightmare. . . It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow man.  
  
Ritsuko: Wait a minute, did you watch your movie on my invention?  
  
Ikari: You mean that big TV screen thing?  
  
Ritsuko: -_-; Yes  
  
Ikari: heh heh heh, yes  
  
Ritsuko: (Head grows extremely large like on other animes) You idiot!!!  
  
Ikari: (whimpering) sorry  
  
Meanwhile on the surface. . .  
  
Asuka: So, it's just a big marshmallow, easy.  
  
Shinji: No Asuka! Wait!  
  
Too late, Asuka charges forward and slices the angel in half, but it  
comes back together and traps her inside.  
  
Asuka: Ahh!! Help me!  
  
Shinji: I'm coming!  
  
Shinji rips the thing apart, again, and rescued Asuka. Then he  
unloaded his rifle ammo into it a spit in the remains.  
  
Asuka: (in awe) You saved me, finally you aren't spineless!  
  
Shinji: (To himself) Alright! She finally is nice to me!  
  
Ryoshima: Ok, you kids can talk later, we have to destroy this thing.  
  
As soon as he said that, 3 giant proton packs(A/N weapon used on the  
Ghostbusters) appeared on the Evas backs.  
  
Ritsuko: Use these!  
  
Shinji: um, ok.  
  
Asuka, Shinji, Rei, and Ryoshima (A/N his is propped on his Eva) fired them at the core an top of its head an it went silent.  
  
Ryoshima: We came. . .  
  
Asuka: We saw. . .  
  
Shinji: We kicked it's ass!  
  
Rei III: . . .  
  
Back in the control room people were cheering and Gendo didn't die (Darn).  
  
Ikari: I have an idea! Since, NERV is going bankrupt we can cut up the angel and we can sale smores to people and get money!! Bwahhahaha!!  
  
Everyone: O_O;  
  
Ritsuko: That's sounds like an ok idea since it's just made of marshmallow.  
  
Rei II: Smores!!  
  
Misato: Well kids, let's go home after you get changed.  
  
Ikari: If you would excuse me, I have a meeting with SEELE.  
  
Here we go again. . .  
  
Ikari: Yes, the angel was defeated successfully and we are using it to gain profits for NERV.  
  
SEELE 1: Very good Ikari, we are pleased with your results, you are dismissed.  
  
Ikari: yes (Fades out)  
  
SEELE 1: These children prove a problem.  
  
SEELE 5: Yes, but since the new dummy plug system was a success with the Area 51 incident we should need them anymore.  
  
SEELE 1: Indeed  
  
SEELE 3: Are you suggesting that we eliminate the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 6th children chairman Keel?!  
  
SEELE 1: Yes, I have been over it and it should make no difference in our plans.  
  
SEELE 3: I see.  
  
SEELE 1: We are nearing the completion, we cannot give up, this meeting is over.  
  
All fade. . .  
  
At the Katsuragi household. . .  
  
Shinji: Whew I'm tired.  
  
Asuka: Yeah, me too. I'm gonna go watch TV for awhile.  
  
Shinji: ok.  
  
While Shinji went to start to make dinner, he heard a TV commercial advertising NERV brand smores (A/N Gosh that was fast! ^_^).  
  
Ikari: (on commercial) Eat NERV brand smores now!! I know where you live!!  
  
Guy that reads stuff on products: NERV brand smores, marshmallow made entirely from the Stay Puft Marshmallow angel (end commercial).  
  
Asuka: Well, that was stupid!  
  
Ryoshima: (yelling) Hey Shinji! No offense man, but I think your dad escaped from the looney bin!  
  
Shinji: None taken! Dinner is ready!  
  
As they all eat Shinji's head suddenly snaps up, with an alarmed look on his face, he hurriedly walks out of the kitchen.  
  
Misato: Shinji, what wrong?  
  
Shinji: Get back, ninjas are coming.  
  
Misato: Ninjas?  
  
*BOOM* the front door suddenly has a huge dent in it, *BOOM* then another. *CRASH* finally the doors gives way and 3 ninjas walk in the doorway and stand.  
(A/N Hey wait a minute, I've seen this movie!)  
  
Shinji: Hi ya fellas  
  
Ninja 2: It's him  
  
Ninja 3: The third  
  
Ninja 2: Do we proceed?  
  
Ninja 3: Yes  
  
Ninja 2: He is still  
  
Ninja 1: Only a child.  
  
The first ninja throws a roundhouse kick that Shinji dodges with ease, and he brings a second one at Shinji's head which he blocks. Then the ninja starts throwing punches at him and Shinji put one arm behind his back and started block the punches with his other arm. The punches get quicker until the ninja blocks Shinji's punch.  
  
Shinji: (Pause in fighting) Hmm. . . .  
  
He punches the first ninja in the face while the other two run forward to attack. The second and third ninjas punch at the same time while Shinji blocks both and punches the first ninja again sending him out of the house and into the street . He then rebounds himself off of the hallway wall and kicks the second ninja into the street. Just when Shinji turns around to face the third ninja, he gets punched into the street with the other ninjas while the other joins the fight.  
  
Shinji: Time to finish this.  
  
Shinji kicks the second ninja into the side of a house and the ninja becomes unconscious. Meanwhile up in the house. . .  
  
Misato: Wow I never knew Shinji could fight like that!  
  
Asuka: Me too! I think that I will be nicer to the baka since he's finally grown a spine.  
  
Ryoshima: (thinking)Okkaayy, No more Matrix for Shinji.  
  
Back to the fighting. . .  
  
Now the second and third ninjas are unconscious and the first remains. The ninja punched, Shinji sidestepped. The ninja punched again and Shinji sidestepped again. The ninja punched again and Shinji leaned back at an impossible angle and leaped behind the ninja and kick him into a street lamp. Shinji tied the ninjas up with their belts and flung them into the sky never to be heard from again. Then he looked around and then squatted down in slow motion and jumped in the air.  
  
Shinji: Yeah!!!  
  
Then he walked inside the house.  
  
Ryoshima: And I half expected him to fly away.  
  
Okay done with chapter 4, hope you enjoyed. The plot will begin to make more sense from here on, I swear. Please review! 


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